I spit on a rat last night in the subway. I got some deflected spit from my poor aim on his furry little body, but he scared me with his shifty eyes. It won't happen again little guy. I know the burden I carry forevermore.
*thanks jonathan. you are my hero.
Why does everyone in New York spit so much? It's everywhere. And it's disgusting.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that was me you spit on last night.
I think you mean, "I feel bad". If you really felt badly, that is a sign of a neurological disorder, not just a distaste for rats and personal hygeine.
ReplyDeletewhat if i have both?
ReplyDeleteHarry: Umm, clearly I'm interrupting. I feel badly. Let me... What are you drinking?
ReplyDeleteHarmony: Bad.
Harry: Bad? Sorry... feel...?
Harmony: You feel bad.
Harry: Bad?
Harmony: Badly is an adverb. So to say you feel badly would be saying that the machanism which allows you to feel is broken.
Perry: Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call.
Harry: Bad.
Perry: Excuse me?
Harry: Sleep bad. Otherwise it makes it seem like the mechanism that allows you to sleep...
Perry: What, fuckhead? Who taught you grammar? Badly's an adverb. Get out. Vanish.
confused yet?