November 16, 2007

Turns Out, Richmond Isn't So Bad

The Source of All My Recent Creative Thought

Press HERE For Video

*I'm technologically retarded so the picture isn't the video. Additionally, much thanks to Mr. Waffle Fries and Mr. Kenning for such a fine work of art. I will forever be indebted.

November 12, 2007

Warm Toes Tonight

Lady: "Hello Richmond Department of Public Utilities can I have your name and address?"

Me: "Tor and we live in the only house in Richmond that doesn't have heat right now even though it's ridiculously cold out now."

Lady: "What can I help you with today?"

Me: "Well, I called last week and it seems I either missed the person who was going to turn on the gas or he didn't come."

Lady: "Oh yes, I see here he did stop by - he said the heat was already on."

November 7, 2007

One Show College Competition

How'd they know I already did the photo shoot for Doritos campaign:

Gold Pencil Winner Right Here***

***If you don't understand the what I mean by the One Show***
As my jonathan bear (also, hi I miss you!!!) made it clear on the comment page, most of the world has no idea about the One Show. It's an ad award show where kiddies send in hand made ad drawings to win awards called pencils. Last year the client was Save the Whales or something: I didn't win a pencil. This year the client is Doritos: I already won a pencil.

November 1, 2007

Clorox Cuts Woman's Cravings By Nearly 95%

Richmond, VA- An Area woman discovered today that Burt's Bees was bought out by Clorox. While the company remains confident their fundmentals won't change the woman is unsure. When asked the Bees had this to say, "Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. " Which roughly translated says "Burt's & Bleach has a nice ring to it." While the bees had little to comment on, the area woman was of another opinion. She took us back to the beginings when times were easy and green was a color.

The woman's love affair began about three years ago when she purchased some Burt's Bees for her chronically chapped lips. She found the portfolio of the bees vast and she began making up problems with her body to justify purchases. From the time she "lost" her lip gloss to the one summer day when her roommate had a sun burn which prompted her to try Burt's Bees new after sun lotion. Every day a new excuse. Below is a showcase of her obsession:

However, after finding out Burt's Bees was sold to Clorox for $950 million dollars she is seems cured of her obsession. She fears new lines of Burt's Bees will include: Cherry Lemon Bleaching Face Peel, Tea Leaf Clorogloss, and Burt's Bees All Natural Bleach.